i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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