party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
