Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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