I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
