I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
