the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My ATM looks so different sober.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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