whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Found your dick twin last night
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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