Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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