Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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