I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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