i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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