That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
