he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
