so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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