I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
