Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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