she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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