I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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