And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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