By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
