I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
