I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
