Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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