Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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