I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
