Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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