and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
