I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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