Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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