How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Randomize
