What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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