What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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