i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So squirting runs in the family.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
