I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
