they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize
