you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
