About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
