Just fell off a train. Bad.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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