i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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