I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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