You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
