Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
barbara walters just said penis...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Randomize
