me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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