I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
