HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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