Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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