im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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