i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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