I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
