I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
