Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
