i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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