If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
